The ability to establish and enforce healthy boundaries in our lives is essential to maintaining our physical, emotional, and relational health. Some people hear the word “boundaries,” and are soured by the term, thinking they are bad thing, but the truth is: boundaries are meant to protect things! They protect our mental and emotional health, our physical well-being, and keep our relationships out of the realms of dysfunction!
How are boundaries helpful?
-They create space for self-care and respect…
-They help us communicate our needs in our relationships…
-They help us set healthy limits in our relationships…
Unhealthy Boundaries…
Unhealthy boundaries can lead to emotional pain and turmoil that can include: co-dependency, depression, anxiety, and stress-induced physical illnesses.
Boundary Violations…
Violations of our boundaries can look like many things, but some of the most detrimental to our emotional well-being include:
-Inability to separate our feelings from someone else’s, and allowing their mood to dictate yours (codependency/enmeshment)…
-Consistently sacrificing your meaningful plans, goals, time, energy to please or appease others…
-Blaming others for your emotions
Why is it Difficult to set Healthy Boundaries?
-Fear of other’s negative reactions (anger, insult, etc)…
-Feeling guilty…
-Never being taught about healthy boundaries…
Focus Points…
-We teach people how to treat us!
-We aren’t responsible for other’s people’s emotions/happiness/reactions, we’re only responsible for communicating respectfully.
-It’s not just OK to say, “No,” it’s crucial!
-You don’t have to apologize for setting a boundary.
-If you feel angry or anxious, check your boundaries!