Find Someone Similar to You to Marry

One of the things that got ingrained in my mind since my college Introduction to Psychology class was that opposites attract, but birds of a feather who flock together often create easier marriages. I was reminded of this when I was reading some of Neil Clark Warren’s book “Finding the Love of your Life”. He talks about how it’s better when you’re looking for someone to marry if you find someone who is more similar to you. Neil even has a list in his book – 50 items of helpful marriage similarities! One of the items is the temperature of the home during the day and night. This makes me chuckle for some reason, but there’s so much truth to it because if you don’t agree with your spouse on the temperature of the home, it’s more likely to be an almost daily argument. 

Neil also lists the following 3 helpful marriage similarities separately: “Religious and spiritual beliefs and preferences, Amount of church involvement, and Family spiritual involvement”. I think it’s interesting that he lists those 3 separately and doesn’t just say one of them. I see over and over how people decide to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share their faith and then years later it becomes a problem. Please trust Neil and me when we say that it’s so much better for your relationship if you have the same faith, especially if you’re going to have kids together. We’re trying to help you make your life easier. Life isn’t always easy, but when you have a partner that’s a good fit for you, it does make life better. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”. When you have God in the center of your marriage, it’s going to be better as well.

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