From the moment of conception and throughout the formative years of childhood, the love and care of our mother and father play a critical role in our development. Unfortunately, in our fallen humanity, there are no perfect parents. Subsequently, many people carry wounds or voids they incurred early in life from one or both of their parents, such as unmet needs, absence, neglect, harsh words, or abusive behavior etc. Nevertheless, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the Lord can go back and fill in any of those wounds with His perfect love.
I have found the following prayer and subsequent blessing from Christian healing ministry to be especially helpful and healing to many who suffered with wounds from their childhood. The Lord wants to heal us from carrying burdens he never meant for us to carry.
As a therapist, I have asked clients to allow me to stand in the gap for their mother to speak the following intro and prayer over them and to ask them for forgiveness to enable them to allow the healing they desperately deserve and have been aching to receive. If you are a mother who wants to bring healing to your adult child/ teenager /child feel free to pray it over your child, or anyone who needs to hear it. Frankly, all of us do at some time in our lives.
A mother’s assignment is to nurture, to love, to tend, to treasure, and to teach her children. Maybe your mother was wonderful, maybe she wasn’t.
Perhaps she abandoned you, or abused you: sexually, physically, verbally, or emotionally.
Maybe she died before you were ready or left you for some other reason.
Maybe she made you her idol, delighting in you so much that you haven’t been able to break away to be your own person.
Perhaps she made you the scapegoat for all her troubles, so that you suffered things other people did to her which frightened, hurt, or angered her.
Maybe she came between you and your father or continually forced you to choose sides. Maybe she placed you between herself and her husband; maybe she didn’t protect you from him.
Perhaps she blamed you for things that were not your fault at all.
Maybe she insisted that you “mother” her instead of her “mothering” you. And maybe you felt important about that and did not realize you were becoming trapped and overwhelmed, and since then you have been running on empty, not knowing what you need or want.
Perhaps she left you in the care of hurtful, dangerous people. Maybe she didn’t see or believe you when you went to her for help. Perhaps she was just too busy to see anything you wanted or needed then. I really don’t know.
If you are willing to hear the words of a wounded mother speaking to you, please close your eyes for a few minutes.
“I realize I am not your mother, but please allow me to stand in for her and, in the place of your mother, who may or may not have said any of these things, please allow yourself to hear these words:
My dear child, I know that the Scriptures command you to honor me; I want you to know that you will honor me best by becoming and being all the Lord intends you to be. I ask the Lord to richly bless you.
I ask the Lord Jesus Christ by the power of His cross and blood to set you free now from any harsh or cruel words that I said, especially the ones you keep remembering over and over. I am so sorry.
I ask the Lord to set you free from heart injuries you sustained from me or from others in whose care I placed you. I ask the Holy Spirit to set you free from heartache, disappointments, dread, grief, or rage you cannot resolve.
I’m so sorry for any other struggles I may have caused you. May you be healed from being ignored by me or smothered by me.
If I ever made you feel less than or not good enough, I am deeply sorry and ask you to please forgive me. May the Lord set you free from working so hard to please me when nothing ever would. May the Lord set you free from trying to get from me what I never had to give you. I am so sorry.
May the Lord set you free from blaming me for failing you, not because I need that, but so you can be free to grow, to receive, to achieve, and to be creative in ways you have not yet imagined. May the Lord give you all the things I was unable or unwilling to give you.
May the Lord guide you in ways I never could and grant you peace. May the Lord free you from any of my grief, fear, terror, anger, dread, and expectations you are still trying to live up to.
May the Lord free you from feeling that you have to always be perfect or that you have to be what I expected you to be.
I pray that God will help you to see that the hurt and pain I caused you came from my own childhood. It limited me, and I am so sorry if it has limited you.
I pray that God will remove from you any belief that you were not wanted or loved.
I pray that you have no doubt that you are the gender you are supposed to be.
Please forgive me for not nurturing you. I pray that the Lord will release you from any unhealthy bond that you may have with me. I want you to keep all of the good that came from me, and give the rest to God.
My beloved son, my precious daughter-I love you.
I am so proud of you.
I am so glad you were born.
Be released now to be the person that God created you to be. Be free, my love, and live!”
I have been amazed at what a difference this simple prayer can do in bringing freedom to so many that have been carrying burdens. God wants us to be free and walk in peace. I hope this resource will be a blessing to you.
Be blessed,
Lynn Hardy