For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 NLT
This Bible passage is used to structure the book by Kimberly Haar, LPC, LMFT called Healing from Life’s Deepest Hurts. Each chapter talks about a different part of the passage. This book is for anyone who wants healing from grief, loss, or trauma. I have been recommending it to clients who are going through a divorce because the author talks about her own divorce and how she struggled with shame for getting divorced. She talks about how her ex-husband kept cheating on her. Kimberly said her ex-husband wasn’t ever physically abusive during their marriage.
The last training I went through talked about how “abuse is abuse is abuse”. If someone is experiencing emotional abuse in their relationship this can be even more damaging than physical abuse because it can affect a person’s day-to-day functioning and their children’s. Emotional abuse tends to cause the victim to be confused because they’re being manipulated. This can make them question themselves and if they’re crazy. Ending the cycle of abuse in families can include a divorce. It is important to teach children what a healthy marriage looks like or they’re likely to end up in an unhealthy or abusive marriage themselves.
Author Kimberly does a good job talking about forgiveness in the book, about how it’s a process. I also like how she talks about changing the question “why me?” to “what now?”. It’s common for people to ask why questions, but we’re not always going to get an answer. It seems more beneficial to focus on “what now?”.
People who are sensitive would be wise to be cautious as they read this book. Kimberly was physically assaulted by her ex-husband years after their divorce, so the book contains some heavy content. The helpful parts of the book outweigh the hard though in my opinion. She talks about how God is always with us, even during the hardest parts of our lives.