The common human experience of wanting to be “better” is most notable at the beginning of a new year. There is a sense of unity and commitment in making New Year resolutions. There is also a sense of defeat when we abandon the resolution a few months into the New Year. For some, attempts to “better” themselves are met with guilt, shame, embarrassment, condemnation, low self-esteem, hopelessness, and so on when the change they desire feels too hard to obtain. This, too, is a common human experience that even those we revere have expressed.
In Romans (NIV), the apostle Paul reveals his anguish when stating: 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. “He then goes on to say: 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7:15, 18-20)
Therapeutically, I would term Paul’s expression as “acceptance” and “reframing.” Using “sin” as the reason for his downfall is not disregarding responsibility and accountability. Rather, it is a way to recognize his “humanism” and that his sin is separate from his identity. Paul goes on to say: 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.” (Romans 7:22-23, NIV)
When we identify ourselves as the sin, we disregard who we are in Christ. Christ sacrificed his own life so that we may have a relationship with God, free from condemnation to that of salvation (Hebrews 10:15-16). As humans experience life together, it is necessary to be in relationships with others with similar beliefs to encourage (Hebrews 10:22-25) and to discern the law of the Holy Spirit from that of sin. Do not withdraw. Seek out God, others, and helpers when you feel helpless or hopeless so you may live the life God planned out for you. You are not alone, and you do matter. In the name of Jesus, I pray blessings over you and a happy new year.
Written by Karin Hagfors-Maly